Holy and Awesome is His Name

And yet He waits to be gracious to me, He looks for opportunities to pour out His mercies and to strengthen me.  I am continually amazed and most of the time truly confounded at how greatly He loves me.  His love is never ending - it endures and conquers, it brings healing and delivers peace and safety, it seeks and saves the lost.

I am so undeserving of His love.  At times it brings me great sadness - when I stop to to think about it.  How can I begin to accept His love knowing I am so undeserving, but that doesn't stop Him from pursuing me and drawing me into the sanctuary of His love, comforting and encouraging me.  My heart is strengthened with the truth of who I am in my Father's eyes.  The reality of His love for me, demonstrated in Christ dying for me when I was against Him in my sin changes my sorrow to joy.

It is a balance act for me - something God is still working in and on in my life ..... keeping a healthy humble perspective of how lost I would be without Christ, my weakness apart from Him, and walking in the truth that I am greatly loved and valued by Him and that He sees Christ's righteousness in me, not the sin that He cleansed me of.  The struggle is to let go of who I was while holding onto how unworthy I was to be saved.   I am called to live with a thankful heart for I am blessed, richly blessed in Christ and to walk in freedom.  I say it is a struggle because the enemy of my soul would have me only focus on the past failures and try and deceive me into thinking my unworthyiness apart from Christ is who I am .... what a weak attack, but it has great power without focussing on Christ.  There is a purpose in sorrow - there is a time for it.  Sorrow over my past sin can work mightily to bring clarity and sharpen my focus on what Christ has done for me.  But for one who's sorrow leads to repentence and praise sorrow will not remain.

I will praise Him ever more and trust in Him for the strength, wisdom and understanding to walk in a manner worthy of who He has called and redeemed me to be ... with a heart filled with thanksgiving, I will proclaim how Holy and Awesome He is, and I will live with my all, all for His glory.